The last thing we want is people not paying attention, forcing the gathering to last longer than it should, and wasting everybody’s time.

Being stuck in a meeting can be frustrating. You repeat things again and again. You go over facts and figures. Then, you notice people's eyes wandering. They are either daydreaming or openly doing other tasks.

What can you do to keep people focused in the conversation?

Here are three things you should avoid and three things you should do. Try them out. Share your experiences in the comments.

❌ Don’t run fake meetings

We can effectively transform most of what we label as "meetings" into other options.

• Is it just one person speaking while everyone else is expected to listen? - Record a video presentation.

• Did you waste two hours on status updates? - Build an async written discipline.

• Do you force meetings so “we all see each other in person”? - Go for a social gathering instead. Lunch or dinner would do.

❌ No agenda, no meeting

Every meeting should have an agenda shared upfront so that people can prepare.

Agenda items should be organized into four categories: things to review, news, things to discuss, and decisions.

Don’t allow improvised topics, and stop being driven by urgency. Prioritize properly.

❌ No follow-up actions, no meeting

If a meeting does not end with a list of follow-up actions, each one assigned to a DRI (Directly Responsible Individual), your meeting should not happen.

Use meetings to get everyone on the same page about work. However, work must come after. Only a list built in such a manner can fulfill this duty.

✅ Check-ins

Ask people to check in at the beginning of every meeting:

• 🟢 Green: I’m present and focused on this meeting.

• 🟡 Yellow: I’m present, but something is distracting me.

• 🔴 Red: I’m here with my body but somewhere else with my mind.

Allowing people a moment to check their current status will help them understand their feelings. Most importantly, it will give you the chance to feel the status of the room and adapt to the different levels of attention.

There's no way you can make people focus if they're distracted. However, by understanding the atmosphere in the room, you can adjust your communication style, intensity, and effectiveness. If you're unaware, it's like driving without seeing.

✅ Build trust, not fear

Let’s say someone in your team is distracted during the meeting. How do you bring them back into the room?

Don’t call them out. - I REPEAT: Don’t call them out.

You can be tempted to ask a tricky question followed by their name. Don’t do it.

Do this instead: call their name, followed by the context of the current conversation, give them extra context, and then ask them the question.

I label the first method as "the backstabber," which can only result in two scenarios. In one, the other person must confess their distraction. You must then repeat your question. In the other, they respond vaguely as they frantically try to understand the context by observing the room.

In both cases, nobody wins. And to be honest, you lose.

Yes, you lose their trust because you shamed them in front of others.

In the latter scenario, where you provide the context after getting their attention, you’ll get an informed answer, and they’ll know they can trust you. Everyone wins.

If you need to address the distraction as a behavioral issue, do it after the meeting, eventually.

✅ Keep it tight

Most meetings are a waste of time for a single reason: poor time management.

They allow people to arrive late, so they start late. They run over time, and there is always an excuse to sidetrack the agenda.

Get some basic discipline in your meetings, and wonders will happen:

• Start on time. If people are late, fix their behavior, but the meeting is sacred.

• End on time. Forse people to prioritize properly and cut things off when they drag.

• Don’t sidetrack. Build discipline around the agenda, be strict, and work effectively.

This is all, folks!

No, that's not all. A hundred other elements could enhance meeting effectiveness. However, what works in one situation may not work in another, so you must try and iterate often.

Let me know in the comments if you have further advice on enhancing your meetings; I’d love to hear from you!

High-performing teams rely on trust, as explained by Simon Sinek. Individual performance means little if people can't work together. Trust is the platform that allows us to achieve results greater than the sum of our parts.

In a remote team, building this trust is a challenge. We can't rely on physical proximity to foster it. As a manager, I have to cultivate trust intentionally.

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . ." - The Little Prince

Trust thrives on predictability. Like the Little Prince learned when taming the fox in Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's book, predictability plays a crucial role in building relationships based on trust.

Consistency in a brand, for example, is nothing more than the predictability it generates in its market. People trust global fast-food chains like McDonald's, Burger King, and Starbucks because of the predictability of their products.

In the current era of Artificial Intelligence, people distrust these technologies because of their unpredictability.

Therefore, to build an effective team, we need trust. Trust in a remote team must be intentionally cultivated. Trust feeds on predictability, without which it can't develop.

That's why violating social norms of predictability, such as being two minutes late to a meeting, damages trust.

As a manager, I must be inflexible with these easily solvable social norms. That's why we must arrive on time for meetings and respect deadlines with obsessive punctuality.

In my first week of work in Vienna, my manager would text me if he was five minutes late. This seemed excessive at first, but I still trust him implicitly almost fifteen years later.

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You've earned a promotion, and everyone now reports to you. However, something seems off. At times, it even feels like they despise you.

This essay discusses how to manage personal relationships when work becomes a hindrance.

When you take charge, people's perception of you changes. They no longer see you as a friend. At best, they view you as their manager. At worst, they see you as their boss.

You can take three steps to prevent costly outcomes from this new situation. These steps will also help you maintain the strong relationship you've built over the past few years.

I must warn you. You won't like the third rule. But that doesn't matter. You must accept it and make it work.

Let’s get to it.

1/3. Set Clear Expectations

I love how Brené Brown puts it: “Clear is Kind, Unclear is Unkind.”

The conflict between you and your former peers, who now report directly to you, often comes from unclear expectations. They believe you're asking for one action but expect a different one from them.

Guess what? Now that you are in charge, you are accountable for that mismatch in the expectations, so you better get yourself together, pull up your sleeves, and set clear expectations.

Don't avoid tough conversations. Strive for utmost clarity with your team. Then, be strict about responsibility. One thing is worse than damaged personal ties: unproductive relationships.

You’ll quickly realize that the clearer you are with your expectations, the stronger your relationships with your team members will be.

2/3. Implement Compartments

You may have more than a professional bond with a team member. You could work out, fish, or be family or best friends.

In all of these cases, things can get awkward very quickly.

I suggest creating strong, purposeful compartments and treating them with utmost respect.

Don't discuss business on the tennis court. Also, when working, you don’t talk about tennis. As simple as that.

For over five years, I happened to directly report to my best friend (we had known each other for a long time, even before being colleagues). We both come from Italy, and the company where we worked together uses English as its main language.

Our rule was simple yet powerful: our business was conducted in Italian on Telegram, and work would always happen in English on Slack.

Because of these strict compartments, our friendship has never been in the way at work, and our job has never been in the way of our friendship.

And now, the third and most difficult aspect to figure out. The earlier you get a hold of this, the better your life is:

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When your team consists of less experienced employees working remotely, it becomes tough to bring disagreements to light. People tend always to agree, maintain pleasant relations, and hold back their real thoughts.

Given your organization guarantees psychological safety and you are interested in surfacing dissent for productive purposes, how do you achieve such a result effectively?

To effectively surface productive dissent, you should focus on three actions:

1. Invitation

2. Normalization

3. Leverage

Let’s see them in detail:

1. Invitation

Dissent is shy.

Good dissent won’t join your party without a proper invitation.

Bad dissent can, eventually. But when that happens, it shows up uninvited, holding a torch in one hand and a pitchfork in the other, and it’s a completely different game.

You are looking for good dissent, not bad dissent.

Make sure you invite (good) dissent to your meetings, asking calibrated questions and actively listening to the answers you get. When you feel that someone disagrees, inquire using a safe tone and explore the boundaries of that disagreement.

Ask questions like: “I wonder if there is another way to look at this thing,” and wait to see what happens.

Challenge your team with “I know it sounds unnecessary, but I wonder if we are missing something. Does anyone feel unhappy about the solution we have?”

Be intentional in searching for dissent.

2. Normalization

Dissent is uncomfortable.

Not just for the recipient but also for the person who dissents.

If you want people to feel at ease expressing their dissent, you must make it feel like water. (reference to DFW, wink wink…)

You, as their leader, should become their model of dissent. When meeting with stakeholders, express your dissent in ways your team will see and adopt as their standard.

Ensure you allow them to see you dissenting from the status quo so they learn how to do it properly. It allows you to adapt the expression of dissent in ways compatible with the context in which you operate.

3. Leverage

Dissent is expensive.

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However, here are 12 hints that might help you assess the truth about them.

1. Your boss always demands written orders, reports, and reviews.

2. Your boss "misunderstands" orders. They ask endless questions or engage in long email threads about such orders. Quibbles over them whenever they can.

3. Your boss does everything possible to delay the distribution of information. Even though pieces of information may be ready beforehand, they don't deliver it until everything is completely ready.

4. They don’t order new working assets, like equipment or training, until the current stocks have been virtually exhausted, so the slightest delay in filling the order will mean a shutdown.

5. They order high-quality assets (people or equipment), which are hard to get. If they don't get them, they argue about it. They warn that inferior assets will mean inferior work.

6. In making work assignments, your boss always first signs out the unimportant jobs. They also assign the most important tasks to the most ineffective team members.

7. Your boss insists on perfection in relatively unimportant tasks; they send back for refinishing those deliverables with the least flaw. They approve other defective products whose flaws are invisible to the naked eye.

8. Your boss makes mistakes in routing information, products, and messages, so they will be sent to the wrong people at the wrong time.

9. When onboarding new team members, your boss gives incomplete or misleading instructions.

10. Your boss is pleasant to inefficient team members and gives them undeserved opportunities and praise. Your boss discriminates against the effective team members and complains unjustly about their work.

11. Your boss holds meetings when more critical work is needed.

12. Your boss demands more communication among people in the team.

Are you familiar with any of these behaviors?

They are my adaptation of the “managers and supervisors” section of the “1944 Simple Sabotage Field Manual” that the CIA distributed to their spies embedded in the enemies’s organizations.

The purpose was to weaken the enemies' economy by implementing strong inefficiencies within their productive and social institutions.

If you find that this list describes your boss’ behavior with good precision, there are two options: they are a spy from 1944 or… I let you finish this sentence.

Every Monday, I collected the business results relative to the previous week, neatly arranging the critical figures in a brief report and publishing an internal memo to the stakeholders. The whole process took me a couple of hours, and every time I had to do it from scratch, assembling the information from at least five data sources.

At some point, our data team deployed an internal analytics tool that collected all the data from all our sources. I invested a few days in learning this new technology deeply, and off I went to build a script that was building the report for me and publishing it automatically.

It was fantastic, and with just a few hours invested in building this automation, I could save two hours every week, reaching peak efficiency.

However, in a matter of a few weeks, something terrible happened.

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Working for their firm sounds like a dream.

Similarly, I had a conversation with the general manager of a more traditional business, who, for the past eight years, devoted themselves to the generational change of the organization. The company is in the farming industry, and tradition is hard to steer. The employees have been used to refer to their superiors with respect, distance, and deference. The new processes are welcoming, warm, and more aligned with a younger mannerism in the office.

Both companies have a higher-than-standard corporate welfare, which can be appreciated in the workplace environment, to the benefits granted to the employees.

And yet, both companies experience the same sickness.

After the initial few months of onboarding, people get so used to the high standards of their working conditions that every little spec of dust that spoils their perfect picture is treated like a boulder stuck on the way to their happiness.

People started arguments about the quality of the coffee, which overnight became less tasty than the day before. The fight was vicious, yet the coffee was still free.

Some employees took the chance to remind their managers that unless higher wages were put on the table, they were ready to hit the road and find new employment elsewhere. The same employees who returned a few months later were hurt and disappointed by the harsher treatment other companies offered and demanded their positions back. Sadly, their chairs were not available anymore.

But it gets uglier than this.

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The relentless drive to increase output and efficiency, while seemingly beneficial on the surface, can erode employees' mental health.

This essay explores the "Five Horsemen of Burnout," five unreasonable behaviors that workplaces often implement under the guise of productivity enhancement, but in reality, only serve to deplete the workforce's mental well-being.

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Executive Summary:

1. A manager is accountable for the outcome of the team. 👥

2. The importance of context in communication. 🗣️

3. The necessity of a process to ensure team alignment. 🔄

4. The difference between being accountable for the outcome, not the output or input. 🎯

5. The significance of the message is that it is understood, not just what is said. 👂💡

1. Managerial Accountability

As a manager, you are responsible for the outcome of your team. Your effectiveness isn't judged by what you say but by the results your team produces. It's your responsibility to ensure that your team understands their roles and the expectations set for them.

Your organization only worries about what you say if you break your community's code of conduct. This happens when you disrespect your values, company, or, even worse, team members.

Aside from that isolated case, your team's result is the only thing that counts. No matter the reason, you are entirely at fault if they can't understand your message.

2. Context Matters

Communication isn't just about the words you use; it's also about how you say it when you say it, and why you say it. The context in which you communicate matters. By considering the context, you can tailor your message to make sure it is understood as intended.

In the book “The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation,” the author, Stephen W. Porges, says:

“The definition of safety that our nervous system has, is very different from the legal or cultural standards we have.”

and

It turns out that it’s not much about what you say, but how you say it.

An effective leader should always pay attention to this.

3. Ensuring Team Alignment

Having a process that double-checks your team's alignment with you is crucial. This ensures everyone is on the same page, working towards the same objectives. Regular check-ins, feedback sessions, and open communication channels can facilitate this alignment. They all provide the chance to achieve agreement. They also allow progress beyond what was mentioned in a single, separate incident.

The manager’s responsibility is to ensure people know the direction to take, the required speed, and the type of game we expect them to play. This complex set of messages requires intentionality, persuasion, and repetition.

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The Tale of the Three Bricklayers

Once upon a time, there were three bricklayers. When asked what they were doing, the first bricklayer replied, "I'm laying bricks, just as I have been told.” The second one said, "I'm raising a wall to make a living and feed my family." But the third one declared, "I'm building a cathedral!"

All three were doing the same task, but their perspectives differed.

The Power of Attitude

The three bricklayers had different attitudes toward their work. The first saw it as a mere job and was following orders. The second had a clear goal, feeding his family. The third was working inspired by a meaningful mission.

This significantly influenced their motivation, satisfaction, and performance.

In my career, I've worked with colleagues representing the three unique bricklayers types. If I reflect carefully, I have to admit that I've shown these three attitudes at different stages of my career myself.

You can spot people around you who embody the three attitudes I just outlined. They either work on command, pursue a goal, or follow a mission.

The Limits of Training

While skills can be taught, changing someone's attitude is a more complex challenge. Training can lead a person how to lay bricks or build a wall, but it can't instill the vision of creating a cathedral. This is where the true power of leadership comes in.

You can hire for skills, but you will mostly fire for attitude. You should choose your collaborators based on their behaviors, not just their abilities.

A few years ago, I led a team of software engineers who, on paper, were at the top of the game. All of them had a solid track record and technical pedigree. However, a few individuals in the pack were demonstrating less-than-ideal behavior and didn’t want to collaborate with the newly established hierarchy. Their technical skills made them into the team; their behavior forced me to show them the door.

The Role of Effective Leadership

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This essay presents nine essential rules that every high-performing manager should follow. These rules are not industry-specific; they are universal principles that can help any new manager navigate their role effectively and successfully.

Let’s get to it!

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The answer, contrary to popular belief, is no.

While an essential element, passion is not the lone sailor on this voyage to success. It needs companions - intensity, perseverance, and preparation - to navigate the tumultuous seas of ambition and reach the desired destination.

The Limitations of Passion

We often hear, "Follow your passion, and success will follow."

This advice, although well-intentioned, is like handing a map of the desert to a sailor. In this context, passion is a broad term as vague and elusive as the shifting sands of a desert.

It's a starting point, a spark that ignites the flame, but it's not the fuel that keeps it burning.

Passion is like the wind in a sailor's sails, it can drive us forward, but without a compass or a rudder - our intensity and perseverance - we might end up adrift, lost in the vast sea of ambition.

The Power of Intensity

Intensity is the first companion of passion on this journey. Imagine it as the flame of a candle. A candle with a small, weak flame provides little light and is quickly extinguished by a slight breeze.

However, a robust, intense candle can illuminate a dark room and withstand stronger winds.

Similarly, intensity in our actions and thoughts can help us overcome obstacles and light our path toward success.

It's the fuel that keeps the flame of passion burning brightly, ensuring that we remain focused and committed to our goals.

The Role of Perseverance

Next, we have perseverance.

Picture yourself trying to crack open a tough nut.

You won't succeed if you give up after the first few tries.

You must keep at it, applying pressure consistently and persistently until the shell breaks. That's what perseverance is all about.

It's the unwavering commitment to keep going, to keep trying, even when the nut seems too hard to crack. The rudder steers our boat, guiding us through rough waters and keeping us on course toward our destination.

The Importance of Preparation

Lastly, there's preparation.

Think of it as the blueprint for your castle.

It outlines the design, the materials needed, and the following steps.

Without preparation, you might have a lopsided tower or a collapsing wall.

Similarly, preparation equips us with the necessary knowledge, skills, and strategies to pursue success. The compass helps us navigate, anticipate potential challenges, and devise ways to overcome them.

Is passion a scam?

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This essay explores five weekly rituals that every leader should implement for successful leadership: 

1. Status updates for accountability 📊

2. One-on-ones for individual performance management and people’s well-being 👥

3. All-hands meetings or town-hall sessions for transparency 🗣️

4. Retrospectives for process improvement 📈

5. Celebrations for boosting motivation and appreciation 🎉

These rituals promote accountability, transparency, continuous improvement, and positive work culture.

Dive in to learn more about each ritual and how to implement them! 💡

Let’s see them a little more in-depth:

1. Status Updates for Accountability

Status updates are a simple yet effective way to keep everyone on track. By sharing what each team member is working on, we can ensure everyone is responsible for their tasks. This ritual promotes accountability and helps identify any potential roadblocks early on.

Examples of status updates in development teams are daily standups and weekly team meetings.

An asynchronous status update may happen through a weekly recap of the project management boards, via internal blogging, or, more traditionally, using recap emails.

As a director of a large distributed company, I was following this process, which was fully asynchronous and based on internal blogging:

• Every week, all the team members posted a memo on the internal team board, including the top 3 tasks they completed, 3 other tasks they worked on, and, optionally, 3 personal items they wanted to share with the team.

• Every second week, every team lead condensed all the personal updates and published a team update to recap everything that happened that fortnight.

• Every organizational structure above followed the same principle at fortnightly frequency, surfacing the status updates from the bottom of the organization to the very top.

Most dialogue regarding status updates was conducted in written form in the comment section of every posting. This eliminated the necessity of discussing status updates verbally during team meetings and one-on-one conversations.

It was unfrequent, yet possible, to have conflicts arising from such a level of transparency and accountability. For more insights on resolving team confrontations, check out this guide:

2. One-on-Ones for Individual Performance Management and People's Wellbeing

One-on-one meetings are a powerful tool for managing individual performance and ensuring people's well-being. These meetings provide a safe space for team members to share their concerns, discuss their goals, and receive personalized feedback.

Regular one-on-ones can lead to improved job satisfaction and overall happiness.

A few general principles for great one-on-ones are:

• Ensure the consistent scheduling of these meetings.

• Maintain complete engagement and concentration during the entire discourse.

• Promote questions, and make sure to answer them thoroughly and patiently.

If you want to learn more about the power of one-on-one meetings, Paolo Belcastro, my manager, and mentor for many years, recently published a masterpiece article on the matter. If you happen to run one-on-one meetings, you cannot miss it.

3. All-Hands Meetings or Town Hall Sessions for Transparency

All-hand meetings or Town Hall sessions are a great way to promote organizational transparency. These meetings allow team members to ask questions, share ideas, and discuss topics openly.

They can help foster a culture of openness and mutual respect.

An all-hands meeting, sometimes called “Town Hall,” is an excellent opportunity to discuss topics such as:

1. Highlights: These events typically begin with a brief overview of the highlights from the previous business cycle. It’s a good idea to include photographs of team members engaging in lighthearted activities, any significant events such as introducing a new initiative or product, and any joyful, memorable moments the team has shared recently.

2. Key Metrics: All-hand meetings allow sharing of critical figures with the whole organization. This practice makes sure everyone is on the same page regarding the business.

3. Impact: People may lose sight of your organization’s impact on the surrounding community, and it becomes crucial to encourage the team to take a moment to reflect and commend themselves for their daily contributions towards improving the world.

4. Business Goals & Challenges: It’s great practice to remind the team about short-term and long-term goals and strategies. This ensures that everyone on the team understands what they strive to achieve now and in the coming weeks and months.

5. New Initiatives: In this segment, you can discuss all the new ideas the team has conceived, the experiments they plan to execute, and the objectives for each. Team members contribute by sharing their thoughts and ideas, sparking a free-flowing discussion.

6. Ask Me Anything: Often, people have questions they are hesitant to ask in the day-to-day setting, and it’s a good idea to offer a platform that encourages transparency and psychological safety. If you host an AMA session, remember that “anything” truly means "ANYTHING.” Be ready for the fun!

4. Retrospectives for Process Improvement

Holding regular retrospectives provides valuable insights for future improvement. These rituals allow the team to reflect on what went well, what didn't, and what could be done differently next time.

A retrospective allows you to reflect on your team's work to improve teamwork, looking at what was successful and failed and understanding why.

You can run retrospectives on every process you have in place. However, the two primary flavors are team retrospectives and project retrospectives.

The team retro helps improve the team’s processes regularly. If you adopt agile processes, you might want to have a team retro in sync with your sprints.

The project retro is a ritual you can establish as part of your project management bureaucracy.

When I was directing engineering teams, we had the rule that a project could be marked as completed only after the retrospective was published on the public board.

I recommend you conduct a retrospective with your team every few weeks or after reaching a project milestone.

Here you can find a good starting point for conducting a successful retro.

5. Celebrations for Boosting Motivation and Appreciation

Celebrating successes, big or small, can significantly boost team morale. Whether it's a project completion, a team member's work anniversary, or hitting a sales target, taking the time to celebrate can show your team that their efforts are appreciated. It's a simple yet effective way to motivate your team and foster a positive work culture.

As a leader, it's crucial to acknowledge your team's hard work, but various factors can make this challenging. A leader might not fully understand the team's achievements if they're not involved in daily tasks, making it hard to celebrate successes. This excellent piece explores all the challenges of celebrating success with your team and offers great advice on recognizing people.

Remote teams may celebrate their success in person, organizing off-sites together, often called “meetups.” The importance of such events in distributed companies is well explained in this excellent article you should not miss.

Wrapping up

In conclusion, these five rituals are crucial to successful leadership. By implementing these rituals, leaders can create a positive and productive work environment where everyone feels valued and motivated.

So, why not give them a try?

They might be the missing piece in your leadership puzzle.

Your team starts to miss deadlines, delivers poor outcomes, and your external stakeholders find it hard to collaborate with your personnel.

Imagine you're a ship's captain and notice a brewing storm on the horizon and tension among your crew. This is akin to hidden conflict in a team at work. As the leader, it's your responsibility to steer the ship through the storm and calm the crew's unrest.

This essay provides a straightforward process for managing and resolving a latent conflict in your team.

Let’s get to it!

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This essay analyzes the commonalities and critical disparities between the two highly endorsed professional assistance options available for engagement in 2023: coaches and mentors.

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I hate panel discussions. Yes, I hate them.

They are the worst way to occupy a stage during a conference.

Panel discussions are dull, superficial, and boring.

However, as an executive, you’ll be invited, at some point, to participate in such type of public event.

Let’s get busy and find out how to stand out and make the most of the worst form of public speaking ever.

Even if you hate them as much as I do, panel discussions are fantastic opportunities to showcase your expertise, share valuable insights, and connect with industry leaders.

Because all the other participants won’t prepare much for it, standing out will be pretty straightforward. Excelling as a keynote speaker requires a lot of work, but standing out as a panelist requires just a few basic tricks.

I have gathered five essential tips to help you prepare for an upcoming panel discussion, ensuring you shine brightly amidst the dullest conversation.

By following these strategies, you'll be equipped to captivate the audience, contribute meaningfully, and make a lasting impact.

Do Extensive Research on Participants

Before the panel discussion, invest time in researching all the other participants.

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In this essay, we will embark on a journey to explore practical strategies for defusing a micromanager and reclaiming the autonomy necessary for personal and professional growth.

We will delve into the art of building a compelling case that showcases your productivity when given the freedom to work independently. Additionally, we will discuss the importance of convincing your boss to grant you more autonomy and how to escalate the issue to a higher authority if necessary. Finally, we will explore more radical solutions that include a change in leadership as the only way to thrive in your career truly.

What is Micromanagement?

As I previously wrote, micromanagement can have benefits in specific situations. For example, when a team works on a complex project with tight deadlines, it can help ensure tasks are completed on time and everyone is aligned. It can also provide guidance and direction to a new team, ensuring everyone is aligned, and tasks are done correctly.

Successful micromanagement is based on three conditions:

• The manager is highly skilled in the domain, surpassing everyone on the team, and all know this fact.

• Short timelines.

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This essay explores how engineers transitioning into managerial roles often struggle to shift their mindset from problem description to solution-oriented management.

For a few years, I was directing five teams of engineers, working on a complex software solution. The five teams were working like a clock, shipping excellent code, on time, with the overall satisfaction of the top leadership of our business unit.

At some point, I noticed that one of the teams started missing deadlines. In addition, their quality was decreasing significantly. I had just adopted that team in my division and could not rely on my knowledge of their performance. I decided to dig into the records to find out where the problem was.

I noticed something fishy: the whole team had an excellent track record regarding the individual performance reviews filed by their manager. Something peculiar stood out to me: every time someone had a performance issue, it was perfectly highlighted in their performance review, and the issue was resolved in the following instance.

Every single person on the team had a 100% recovery rate. And this gave me a hunch about where the problem was. Let’s see why, and by the end of this essay, I’ll tell you what happened to the team and its manager.

In engineering, individuals often possess an exceptional ability to identify problems. They have a keen eye for detecting even the most minor glitches within complex systems.

Engineers are elegant problem-describers. When a customer reports that they could not process their payment, a typical engineer will tell you all about the payment processor, the exact API call that failed, and all the intricate alignment of libraries that prevented that customer from using their credit card in that particular case. However, if that effort were put in place to fix the problem, we would have one more happy customer, more money in the bank, and one less frustrated manager (me).

When these problem-describing geniuses become managers, they often struggle to adapt. Instead of focusing on implementing solutions, they keep on describing problems as their primary approach to the issues they face.

Imagine yourself as a captain entrusted with guiding your ship through treacherous waters. You rely on your crew's expertise to navigate safely, but would you trust them blindly?

No, you would periodically verify their progress, ensuring you stay on the right course.

Similarly, as a manager, it is not enough to identify issues and provide feedback to your team. You must go beyond and verify if fundamental change is taking place.

Consider your team as a garden. You plant the seeds of feedback, nurturing them with trust and guidance. However, the seeds may not grow into thriving plants without proper care and attention.

By verifying their improvement, you ensure your team receives the necessary support to flourish. As a gardener tends to their plants, you must actively engage with your team, providing them with the tools and resources they need for success.

The manager I was telling you about was making a fundamental mistake…

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Maybe it's your spouse or a close family member. You start with a simple remark, and before you know it, things have spiraled out of control, and you're in the middle of a massive fight.

It's a frustrating and confusing experience, but it's also one that we can learn from.

Loaded relationships lead to difficult conversations, and arguments are more impactful. When we have a history with someone, we bring all that baggage into our interactions.

We have preconceived notions about who they are and what they're capable of, and we're quick to jump to conclusions about their intentions. This can make it challenging to have productive conversations, especially when we're discussing sensitive topics.

The relationship between a manager and the team members is loaded. Managers have much power and influence over their employees, and their words and actions can significantly impact the team's morale and productivity. Therefore, a manager should tread carefully when making remarks without thinking about the real impact of their words.

In any relationship, we must be mindful of how we communicate with others.

Here are 5 tips to help you navigate arguments with people you have a loaded relationship.

The very last one might surprise you for its effectiveness.

Let’s get to it:

1/5. Be aware of your triggers

If specific topics or comments are likely to set you off, be mindful of them. Take a step back and consider why those things bother you so much. Understanding your triggers can help you stay calm and focused during difficult conversations.

I recently wrote about triggers in conversations:

2/5. Listen actively

In an argument, it's easy to get defensive and stop listening to what the other person is saying. But active listening is critical to resolve conflicts and build stronger relationships. Try to understand the other person's perspective, even if you disagree with it.

Avoid binary (yes/no) questions, and stay open to unexpected information that will be shared with you. Keep an open mind throughout the whole argument.

Use questions like: “Can you tell me more about….” and “How did you expect me to…”; they do wonders!

3/5. Take a break

If things get heated, taking a break and returning to the conversation later is okay. Sometimes, we need time to cool off and collect our thoughts before we can continue the discussion.

Use this powerful sentence: “I feel upset, and this conversation is very important to me; let’s take a break, get a glass of water, and return to our convo in 5 minutes.”

As a manager, normalize this strategy with your team. Teach by example and show people that it’s ok to show vulnerability yet commitment to a critical conversation.

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I recall being invited to a C-suite offsite to discuss strategies for the upcoming years, yet I remained silent throughout the day. And that almost got me fired.

This essay will explore three main ideas for increasing people's participation in a work team and how my being silent in such an important meeting shaped my future skills as a manager.

Firstly, some people are more extroverted than others. Extroverted people tend to be more outgoing and sociable, making it easier for them to participate in a team. On the other hand, introverted people may be more reserved and prefer to work alone. To increase participation in a team, it is vital to understand each team member's personality and cater to their needs accordingly.

One strategy to overcome this pitfall is to balance individual and group work. Introverted team members may feel more comfortable contributing their ideas in writing than in group discussions. Therefore, team leaders can assign individual tasks and allow team members to share their ideas in writing. Additionally, team leaders can provide extroverted team members with opportunities to lead group discussions and brainstorming sessions while encouraging introverted team members to participate at their own pace.

Secondly, some people are easier to influence and fall into group thinking. Group thinking occurs when individuals conform to the group's opinion rather than expressing their ideas. This can harm a team's success as it limits creativity and innovation.

Team leaders should encourage individual thinking and diverse opinions to avoid group thinking. One strategy to overcome this pitfall is to assign a devil's advocate role in team discussions. This person's job is to challenge the group's ideas and provide alternative perspectives. This method can help stimulate critical thinking and prevent group thinking. Additionally, team leaders can encourage team members to think independently by assigning individual tasks and providing opportunities to present their ideas to the group.

Another strategy to overcome group thinking is creating a constructive criticism culture. Team leaders can encourage team members to provide feedback on each other's ideas and work. This can help stimulate critical thinking and provide opportunities for team members to improve their ideas and work. Additionally, team leaders can provide training on effective communication and conflict resolution to enable team members to express their opinions confidently.

It was not group thinking that kept me silent at that crucial meeting. It was the third and final idea in this essay.

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